job: create moments of joy

  ... for more control over your emotional brain so you can take charge of your emotions more easily.

The method is based on sensing which of the five universal emotional brain states you are functioning in at any particular time and using a tool to either maintain your current brain state or move yourself into a better one. The brain states range from Brain State 1, feeling joyful and content, to Brain State 5, feeling overwhelmed, confused, lost and hungry! In Brain State 1, you are in spirit, and in Brain State 5, you're in survival mode—all about ego. You'll do whatever it takes to get what you want when you want it—without regard to others. The tools give you the power to switch your brain back to Brain State 1—regardless of your current circumstances—as easily and quickly as possible.

Each time you use these tools, you weaken the wires that promote stress and strengthen those that bring joy. The goal is to rewire your brain from stress to joy, to take your emotional life into your own hands! Once you master this, you can become your own beacon of light, with your joy finding its way into the wiring not only of people you know, but also those you don't know. It will even affect the brains of those who have yet to be born.

So when I get up in the morning, I remind myself that my job is to create more moments of joy in my day, and you should too! Make it your goal to lighten your emotional footprint on the planet and spread joy. Help others get to Brain State 1, and you can begin to create a world at 1.

Laurel Mellin  Wired for Joy.

storying (from Hootless)

Mutuality - any communication of a story must be balanced. So, if the listener is happy for the teller to tell the story then that is ok. If the listener is not happy to listen then the teller must understand that and maybe not continue as long.

If there is 'Space Created' to tell the story (provided by a listener) it can lead to more emotions coming up to release on.

'Discriminate' – If the story is harming you, you dislike it or, it is draining your energy in any way (or feels that way). Get out of the situation if necessary or release on it of course. If it is positive then let it continue and keep listening if comfortable with it.

Look at the 'Underlying Wants' if you want to exit a situation, or stay and welcome whatever comes up etc etc

Be 'Authentic' and 'Speak Your Own Truth'- If a story is becoming uncomfortable then be honest and say this. Don't say you are cool to listen for hours if you don't want to. Remember mutuality!

If someone in your life is venting and telling the same story continually on more than one occasion and thus stuck there ... and the feeling is not one of mutuality ... and/or draining you -  then limit the time you will listen, tell them you cannot listen for hours, but if they would like some help to release the story, you will assist.  If they do not want assistance and just to tell the story then [you can] leave the conversation or communication.

21 days of paying attention

I am working on releasing my fear of being who I am and also on being more present with others. This is an "integrity penny game" opportunity.

six seconds

These three exercises from Six Seconds, a California-based international nonprofit organization that offers training in emotional and social intelligence, are designed to develop a core of competence—and an earned sense of confidence.

Feelings Quilt:One of the keys to making good decisions is developing emotional literacy—that is, tuning in to your own reactions and noticing that you may have many feelings at once. Take a small piece of paper, fold it twice (you'll make four squares), and unfold it. Think of a big moment that happened yesterday. In one of the squares, enter a symbol or design showing how you felt. What else did you feel? Write it in another square. Repeat for the last two squares. Now that you can see the range of emotions you had, which one got the most attention? Was it the most useful one to focus on? Did you ignore some of them?

Integrity Pennies:Learning to manage your reactions more carefully is crucial to self-mastery. First thing in the morning, put 10 pennies in your left pocket. Each time you say or do something other than what you genuinely intended (maybe you softened a response too much or were harsher than you meant to be), transfer one penny to your right pocket. Keep practicing to reduce the number of right-pocket pennies.

The Silent-Movie Game:This exercise helps you use the power of your feelings for the greater good. With a friend at lunch, on the bus, or in an airport, pick a few people and guess what's going on inside their minds. Then compare notes on what you glean the subjects are thinking, feeling, and doing, and what each most needs now from a supportive ally or friend.

 http://www.6seconds.org/tools/resources/ resources!

reminder - when the thoughts thunder loud and scary

All war belongs on paper - here's how to go to battle: You write down each and every stressful thought, and then ask yourself four questions about it.

Is it true?

  (don't know for usre, sure feels that way)

Can I absolutely know it's true?
   (not at present, maybe never)
How do I react when I believe this thought?

  (pain and anger and resentment and fear. eww.)


Who would I be without the thought?
   (fun, creative, joyful)

Afterward, when you have completely wrestled the thought to the ground, you replace it with a "turnaround"—an opposite thought, one that is "as true or truer" and that doesn't cause you suffering.

(As true - that I am already lovable as I am, and that the love I seek is inside)

(Byron Katie)

what I do for love... (Queens)

What I Do For Love

•  I can't remember!
• Pet my horse.
• Please. (as if)
• Nap.
• Listen to music.
• Dance.
• Write.

depression rag

Some waysto set up some depression help is to give yourself small tasks to accomplish.
Provide realistic goals that you can easily do.
Talk things over with a family member or friend that you can trust to give unbiased advice and encouragement.
Engage in some normal activities like going to the movies, seeing a sports game or even participate in social activities that you feel comfortable with.
You need to understand that it takes time for the depression treatment to work. 
Ask for help and encouragement to stick with the efforts you have begun from family and friends.
 Depression help also means seeing that medication is taken when it should be and also in the right amount.
Find a way to talk about things that are worrying you.

scared of scarcity? wallow

The way to get around [anxiety about lack]... is to increase our awareness of abundance. If you embark ... in a mind-set emphasizing lack, you'll create a scarcity response.... The best way to [deal with] this is to dive into an overcrowded area [of your life] and wallow for a while. (Beck)

If it comes up again...

About thoughts - "If is comes up again, so what? It's just a thought... it belongs to you as much as the (perception) of that tree out there."  Sedona Living Love Class (2010, recording 10)

Thumbprint

Each of us is born with a propensity to have fun doing certain types of activities, in certain proportions—you may love doing something I hate and vice versa. I call the pattern of activities you most enjoy your "funprint," and like your thumbprint it's unique. It seems obvious to me (and research backs me up) that we are most productive, persistent, creative, and flexible when we're engaged in precisely the combination of activities that brings us maximum fun. Your funprint isn't a frivolous indulgence. It is the map of your true life, an instruction manual for your essential purpose, written in the language of joy. Learning to read and respond to it is one of the most crucial things you'll ever do.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Why-You-Need-More-Fun-in-Your-Life-Martha-Beck#ixzz1biHnSYIW

pema chadron bit

"There's another story that you may have read that has to do with what we call heaven and hell, life and death, good and bad. It's a story about how those things don't really exist except as a creation of our own minds
.
It goes like this: A big burly samurai comes to the wise man and says, "Tell me the nature of heaven and hell." And the roshi looks him in the face and says: "why should I tell a scruffy disgusting, miserable slob like you?" The samurai starts to get purple in the face,... consumed by rage, the samurai draws his sword, and he's just about to cut off the head of the roshi.

Then the roshi says "That's hell." The samurai, who is in fact a sensitive person, instantly gets it, that he just created his own hell; he was deep in hell. It was black and hot, filled with hatred, self-protection, anger and resentment, so much so that he was going to kill this man. Tears fill his eyes and he starts to cry and he puts his palms together and the roshi says "That's heaven."

... Hell is just resistance to life. When you want to say no to the situation you are in, it's fine to say no, but when you build up a big case to point where you're so convinced that you would draw your sword and cut off someone's head, that kind of resistance to life is hell."

From Wisdom of No Escape (Chapter 7- Taking a Bigger Perspective)

anxiety control - breathing

When you are anxious, you tend to breathe shallowly, using your upper chest muscles. ... Controlled breathing is a technique that you can use to counteract this stress response and induce a state of calm within 3 to 5 minutes.

Use the following steps:

• Lie on your back, placing one hand over your heart and the other on your abdomen.
• Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of 4.
• Watch the hand on your abdomen rise as you fill your lungs with air, expanding your chest. (The hand over your heart should barely move, if at all.)
• Hold your breath for a count of 4.
• Exhale slowly through the mouth or nose for a count of 4.
• Repeat for 10 full breaths. Work up to 2 or 3 sets of 10 breaths each.

Note:

• Stop if you feel faint or dizzy.
• Concentrate while inhaling on filling the lower portion of the lungs.

from Real Age

questions

What would you like your theme to be? living, loving, creativity
What are you longing for? What gets in your way?  connection - fear of my own anxiety and want to control to feel safe.
What do YOU want? What do you REALLY want? connection. LOVE!
What’s one little thing that could make a really BIG difference in your life? penny game for reactions.

hakomi tidbit excerprts

by Adama Hamilton (Ron Kurtz Hakomi Instititute)

Often stress results in a narrowing and activation of old patterns of behavior ... learned as a child or young person and not necessarily helpful to a mature adult friendship or loving relationship.... When we nurture and care for our inner child first or when it is hurting, our interactions with others take on a completely different shape and form....When we do not let go and move forward we can become “stuck” and instead of expanding we contract... it becomes very difficult to live the life that we may have dreamed of having... One of our main focuses is assisting in the letting go of unnecessary suffering, and becoming more connected to higher sources of wisdom and knowing.

30/20

30 years of things I wanna do

Ride horses again	Get 5-10 acres	Solar water	B	Dancing again
Play guitar again	Write poems	Lose wt to feel better	Feel well	Adventures
Travel a little	Love	Be lovable	Peace	Sing
Poems	Rocks	Camp	Work	Volunteer
Be happy w/ what is	Hawaii	Be involved	Barter	art

20 questions

What questions should I be asking myself Why am I in this place?	What is my body telling me?
Is this what I want to be doing it’s not enough?	Drop and add something every day? today – drop resistance add play
Why worry It’s a silly habit	What’s so funny? It’s all funny
Why do I like cupcakes more than I like ___ Being alone is less scary	Where am I wrong? Assumptions aboaut others
What potential long term memories am I bartering and is the profit worth the price?
How do I want the world to be different because I was here? Someone felt valued and free	Greatest shame fear? I am not lovable
How do I want to be different because I lived in this world At pleace	What do I love to practice? Creative stuff
Are __ better people? Nope.	Where could I work less and achieve more? People
Where should I break the rules? relationships	Now what? Tell a more positive and grateful story? I done good. Now go share
Is this what I want to be doing? – changes coming

momming me

I find the funny in the situation, I think of what I’m grateful for, or I think of how best I can mother myself in that moment.

bright spotting - 90 seconds to reset the baseline

You can feel the power of the strengths perspective if you're trying to drop a bad habit like smoking or eating entire pots of fondue cheese. Right now, think of times when you've indulged this habit. Berate yourself for being weak and wrong. Notice: In that mind-set, do you feel less like repeating your bad habit, or more? Now focus on bright spots—times when you did something right. You resisted a craving, ate well, worked out, whatever. List five of these bright spots, no matter how small:

1.___________________
2.___________________
3.___________________
4.___________________
5.___________________

While focusing on your successes, do you feel more or less able to resist your bad habit? If you don't feel more empowered, list five more bright spots. Your negativity bias will fight back .... but if you stubbornly persist until you begin to feel gladness, you'll get stronger.

...
  Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD, a neuroscientist who rebuilt her brain after suffering a stroke describes approaching emotional suffering with the so-called 90-second rule.

Physiologically, Taylor says, it takes only 90 seconds of feeling the emotion caused by a negative event before the body finishes processing its stress hormones and returns to its baseline setting. "Unless you rerun that loop by rethinking the thoughts that restimulate the emotion that restimulates the physiological response," Taylor has explained, "the uncomfortable feelings will go away."

from the 90 second article on line

raise good (hdl) cholesterol

walnuts, almonds, peanuts, pistachios, pecans, peanuts, and hazelnuts
watty fish like salmon, mackerel, albacore tuna, and halibut
olive oil
avocados
oatmeal

list found on sparkpeople.com

parts negotiation

Identify the parts of yourself involved in an issue, determine what they want -really want - and find a way to provide that.

one minute things to do

A list of practices that could literally add years to your life, and each one can be done in 60 seconds or less.

Get up every hour. Take a minute-long walk at least once an hour. Every step counts toward the 10,000 you should be taking every day.
Eat an egg.
Take chromium.
Don't forget to floss.
Check your pulse. If your heart rate is high, consider adding more omega-3 fatty acids to your diet.
Do self-massage. Stress damages every organ in your body. For quick relief, press your thumbs against the sides of your nose just below your browbone; then walk your index and middle fingers across your brows and finish by lightly rubbing your temples. Massage prompts a drop in cortisol and adrenaline and a surge in feel-good endorphins.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Live-Longer-How-to-Add-Years-to-Your-Life#ixzz1SBJVf3Kf

kegels 10-20 (3-5sec), 3-4 times a day

Hi Katherine and thanks for your question. The type of incontinence that hysterectomy increases the likelihood of developing is called stress incontinence. Stress incontinence is a leaking of urine that happens when you lift things, exercise, cough, sneeze, or laugh. It is caused by pelvic muscles that are too relaxed. It is a common problem for women.

The pelvic muscles may have been stretched or torn during child-bearing or by pelvic surgery. The good news is that there are exercises (Kegel exercises) you can do to strengthen your pelvic muscles to help prevent stress incontinence.

You can feel the muscles that need to be exercised by squeezing the muscles in your genital area. You might find that it helps to pretend you are contracting the pelvic muscles to stop a flow of urine or stop from passing gas.

Squeeze your pelvic muscles and hold the contraction for 3 to 5 seconds. Do this 10 to 20 times. Let the muscles relax completely between contractions. Do these sets of contractions 3 to 4 times a day. You won?t get as much help from the exercises if you do them less often than this. 

You can do Kegel exercises anywhere: while sitting at a desk, waiting for a bus, washing dishes, driving a car, waiting in line, or watching television. No one will know you are doing them.Don?t do these exercises while you are urinating or having a bowel movement.

If you have a bladder control problem from weakened pelvic muscles and start regularly doing the Kegels, you may have less leakage of urine in just a few weeks. However, you may not notice a lot of improvement until after 3 to 6 months of daily exercises. You should keep doing Kegels every day to keep the pelvic muscles strong even if you do not feel a difference.

For more information about prevention and treatment of stress incontinence please see the following website: http://www.mayoclinic.com/print/bladder-control-problem/WO00122/METHOD=print Thank you for using our Blue Health Connection "Ask our Nurses" service.

notes on notes

I find writing blurts brings up stuff that sometimes doesn't feel too safe.

I'm still better off than I was... free of a stuck place... ready in concept to do gratitude ... and on. I also wanted to note that in addition to stepping away from something toxic.

I've noticed some changes - less medication by a tiny bit, better nutrition, figured out how to use the right amount of supplements... generally more exercise (today - not so much) ... I also am doing better with sleep conditions - but... still challenged about using food when I'm anxious... which I am.

And oh.... the other note was ... I had been beating on myself for not being sensitive - I was wrong about that. I am sensitive... it's just that I was looking for a different message than I was getting. I was getting the communication - just not the message I wanted.

So the next question - how do I expand my circle?

Coaching note for the day

(Re)learned from the assignments - I have a huge amount of resentment stuffed down there. There's shame and embarrassment too. My ex bf  used to say “Shit on shame.” I find that ironically shaming. I want and need someone on my side. I'm always afraid of falling short of being good enough to be loved.

My raison d 'etre is to love, be loved, and operate from a loving heart.  That is good enough.

Coaching discussion

Assignments - blurt pages

Write an angry letter of response to the person who criticized me for being needy (when I wanted love)

Write about early fear of abdominal surgery (which also has abandonment mixed in there)

Beginner breathwork - inhale postive intentions (nose), expanding belly; out (mouth) letting go. - (start by lying down, hands on abdomen, elbows supported if need be). Asked for this as it's a missing piece.

Also: Singing scales in the car.

Chant

Progresses

On July 3 I got the strength and the awareness and such to realize that though I was gaining a lot from contact with a friend, there continue to be deeply distructive elements to that contact - an addictive quality on my part, and a extremely judgmental quality on his. I love, bless, and release him from my life as it now is. It was three days of detoxing hell - and now it feels good. Doing the "independence" exercise: What do I love about my body/mind/soul; what might I apologize to it/them for?

welcome goals

2009 recording Sedona Method, very end of track 9... welcome the goal - triple welcoming process. Useful

heartmath exercise

heart focus, heart breathing, pleasant place or image or memory.

I'm free - I'm free.

We have the right to question each and every thought – to turn the tables and become the exclusive commodity that our thoughts want to hang around!

WE are the one who is in demand. WE are the one our thoughts keep hanging around. We have limited capacity for thoughts, and only want the cream of the crop.

Therefore, each thought must go through an extensive screening process, much like a job interview. “What can you add to my life?” “What have you come to teach me?” “Are you here to uplift me or drag me down?” “Are you telling me the truth?”

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2011/03/10-things-my-mentor-taught-me-right-to-question-my-thoughts/#comment-329

excerpt and exercises -Talking to the body - thank you, apology

Remember your body is your home, not just an object. It needs you to be its advocate, its protector and its caregiver.Do that, and it will do the same for you, as best it can.

Talk to your body, literally. I know it sounds silly, but it helps. Ask it what it needs, what messages it has at the moment.

Consider a “thank you” for all your body has been through. Consider an apology for not being able to listen before. We take far better care of something for which we feel empathy, so we need to listen to our body messages. Are you hungry? Tired? Full? Emotions are physical; learn where your body feels them.
Your intuition is physical; think about how you feel when you know you are in a dangerous situation. Your body tells you first. long before your thoughts.

Thank you body and heart and soul for getting me through all this alive. You are tough and persevering when ... it seems that there's no reason to be.


Body, heart and soul, I am sorry for trying to jam you into dangerous places with dangerous people even after the red flags are waving and the writing on the wall is dripping in blood...  I know you eat because you're scared and you hang out with and love the wrong people because you are so afraid you can't be loved and that your love is worthless.  In a bit, it will feel better. Step away from the confusion and the people who can't love you. There is peace there.

One thing I like to do is think about the times you were really enjoying being “in” your body, with no judgment about how it looked. Might be dancing, running, curling up on the couch, anything.Do that, and see the difference between being “in” and looking “at.” Try to shift to more being “in” your body. Find time in some small way (or a big way!) as often as you can.

For some, their bodies were the site of violence, damage, or other boundary violations.

Most people absorb these traumas, and believe these experiences change the worth and value of their body itself. This is understandable, but absolutely wrong.

A body that has seen us through trauma is even more in need of our protection.(Excerpt from

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2011/07/powerful-ways-to-improve-your-body-image/ )

excerpt from 15 natural mood lifters.

At times, we all need to lift our spirits in an instant. Luckily, some environmental and situational factors are easy to control.

But we don’t need to be victims of circumstances—and we certainly do have control over our choices. If keeping your moods on an even keel and staying relaxed are things you would like to pursue, you’ll be happy to know it’s much easier than you probably think.

What you eat, how often you eat, and how much you eat are all factors that can dramatically impact your mood. So, if you can keep your blood sugar stable, your mood may follow.

We also know that exercise stimulates the chemicals in our brains that lead to feelings of tranquility and well-being. The release of endorphins are responsible for things such as the "runner’s high" or the incredible surge in creativity fitness participants often report. Even a leisurely stroll can increase the oxygen flow to your brain leading to a sense of calmness, greater energy and focus.

According to common sense, feelings are what cause our behavior. When we are sad, we cry. When we are angry, we rant and rave. However, a large and growing body of research shows that feelings often follow our behavioral choices. In other words, if we force ourselves to smile, we feel happier. And if we pretend to be excited, upbeat and energized, we begin to actually feel that way. This again proves that we are more in control of our moods than just the circumstances around us.

Here are a few more natural mood lifters you can try.

1. Eat often and eat light. ... three to six eating episodes (total meals plus snacks) each day.
   
   
2. Limit refined carbohydrates such as soda, candy, cookies, and white flour, which are concentrated sources of sugar. These foods may give you an immediate rush of energy, but they will cause you to crash and fatigue soon after.
   
   
3. Include a small amount of lean protein at every meal and snack. Protein will leave you feeling alert and productive for hours.
   
   
4. Eat foods rich in omega-3 fats. These foods have been shown to lift moods and can possibly alleviate depression. Omega-3 fats are found in oily fish like salmon or sardines, canola and olive oils, as well as flaxseeds and walnuts.
   
   
5. Ramp up your B-12 and folate (folic acid). Scientists believe these nutrients help the body produce a neurotransmitter called serotonin—a known mood stabilizer. Shellfish, fortified cereal, oatmeal, wheat germ, and vegetables are some of the many foods rich in these nutrients.
   
   
6. Get your daily dose of exercise.
   
   
7. Stick to a regular sleep schedule—even on the weekends.
   
8. Go outside and breathe in the fresh air. Take a break from your home or office to get some air and sunshine. Even stepping out into cold weather will wake you up and refresh your mind.
   
   
9. Listen to music you love.
   
   
10. Indulge your senses. Sights, smells, sounds, tastes and tactile sensations can quickly change your mood. Light a scented candle that evokes memories of the holidays, bake cookies to remind you of happy times at your grandmother’s, buy your favorite flowers and revel in the smell (and sight) of them, or soak in a scented bubble bath while listening to soothing music.
    
    
11. Do something that brings you joy. Whether it’s going to a movie, reading a novel or having lunch with your best friend, take a well-deserved break from work or stressful situations and do something you love. The change in mood will lead to better concentration and efficiency once you return to the task at hand.
    
    
12. Play or cuddle up with your furry friend.
    
13. Volunteer. If time is an issue for you, contribute through donations and you could evoke the same feelings of happiness.
    
    
14. Fake it till you make it. Researchers have found that the simple act of smiling seems to activate happiness centers in the brain. Keep smiling and in time, your mood will match your facial expression.
    
    
15. Create a list of natural mood enhancers that will work for you. Feeling angry? Write in your journal. Stressed? Try a yoga class. If you're exhausted, take a 20-minute nap. And if you’re feeling down, rent a funny movie. Remember, you have a choice and the ability to change your mood. With some trial and error, you will figure out the best strategies that work for you.

It’s quite natural for all of us to wake up on the wrong side of the bed now and again. If your self-care skills are optimal and you try some tips listed above, your pleasant disposition will shine through. However, if you still find yourself moody, angry, excessively tired or unhappy for an extended period of time, talk with your doctor. He or she will want to rule out any medical or nutritional causes before considering treatment for depression.

The nutrition information presented in this article has been reviewed and approved by Becky Hand, M.S., Licensed and Registered Dietitian.

Halfway through the 28 day/7 day breakthrough exercises.

28 days – starting June 2, running to June 30.

Breakthrough exercises

1

Honor yourself
a) Kathy, I’m proud that you ___(7 dif answers at least)

2

cut shackles to shame, blame, guilt and regret.

b) Kathy, I forgive you for ___ (7 dif answers)

Show up for self.  (declaration)

c) Kathy, I commit to you that __ (7 dif answers)

2

Expose the lies (the negative chatter is a lie) 7 days
(do on paper – blue or black pen or pencil
and a red pen – notepad or 7-10 pieces paper)
write down the lie (not good enough, etc, in one category
at a time)

Skip 4 lines after each lie in each category, but let it run out.

categories
 
a)  health and wellness
b) finance and business
c) relationship, love and familia
d) spirituality and faith
 

At first will feel crappy… once you’ve exposed the lies
get the red pen (dark text) and write the truth…
you will want to feel stuck however:
you know there’s a truth as you chose that statement as  a lie.
you will write the truth even if you don’t want to believe it.
(ex – ugly / divinely designed)

Then read the lie/truth for 7 days

7^th days erase/line out the lies.

Lie: _ _ _
Truth: Actually, I am okay and my explorations are meaningful.
Truth: “Your” judgment is not about me.
Truth: It is time to let go of trying to get okayness from others.
Truth: I can do this and I can ask for assistance and either way is okay.
Truth: Whatever.

3

Write yourself a love letter.

What I love most about you… admire you for… thank you for being….
I honor you…

working in cancer diet bits... nutrition notes mid day

I've got the appointment with "the nurses"

I was so rattled I basically forgot to get the location from N. Called back to do so. Working on giving myself permission to go over the evening before. Okay, self, you have permission. And... it is unwise to ask X for a ride, just go over yourself at least part way after C's celebration.

There.

Okay. This is a not so good day. I don't feel good and the "good helpful diet" slipped the last couple days. Back in the saddle, sorta. But... not very well. 

This is a very familiar emotional state.  Awareness wheel and hakomi --

feeling
sad. angry! despair.
                      
2) distracted 
want  some nurturing and attention, to be safe, to feel safe, not to have to work at all this, not to be ashamed of my feelings which I would be if anyone I cared about knew. I want to avoid lots of negative things that can happen or get said by people who frequently do or say those things. judging my feelings of shame are supposed to help me drop it or maybe just make the judger free to stand clearer... I don't know. but that hurts.


thinking
stuck again! Is it permanent?
I am so unlovable like this. Or...
any time. I made myself do some
things today and I still feel.... bad.
2 hopeless. alone.


perceive
hot, anxious, weakness,
sore belly, tight throat, tears
2 tension. tears. itchy.



3 I feel so one-down in those cases. So why the heck am I there?  It's something about deserving to be if I can make difficult people accept me the way I want to be accepted. Which I'm freakin ashamed of. Ta. Da.


Do
Ask anyway. Find someone else to go with. Go alone, leaving early to get a place to stay.  Meet C, J, etc. Or at least ask. Ask K.

add ons

hakomi exercise - release made me forget what I was worrying about - and I saw more clearly.

acupuncture can work before, too.

got arnica...


learned from r about yarrow and some edibles.

yoga - child pose with bolster, back stretch over bolster, V legs/straight back.

excerpt - lack and abundance

Where does lack come from? It comes from the false beliefs you’re holding onto. These beliefs tell you that there is something wrong with you. How feeling wrong shows up, depends on the person.  So how does lack express itself in your life? Do you gossip? Resent? Do you feel “less” than your friends? Do you try to do everything “right”? Or do you struggle with money? These are just a few examples of lack. There are too many ways to share how it expresses itself here. If you are feeling anything but abundant in your life, you are in lack.

You know you’re sitting in abundance when you feel “enough.” You feel as if there is no need for competition. You know that the universe supplies all of your needs. And you are open to receive, knowing that you are not alone and never have been.

wanting

“What is the simplest or most outrageous thing I can do right now or today to reach my goal?” Sedona Method about releasing goals.

budget friendly healthy foods

 from Learn Vest

 

Kale

It’s a great source of fiber, protein, iron, and vitamin C. One cup has just 36 calories and zero grams of fat. Kale also provides antioxidants and may help fight cancer.Try this: Don’t love the bitter taste of kale? Take a cue from Jamba Juice and try it in a green smoothie. Combine a handful of spinach, a cup of the frozen sugar-free fruit of your choice (like mangoes or strawberries), a banana, some coconut milk, and ice in a blender. Blend until smooth. Not sweet enough? Add a little bit of honey or agave syrup. Make this your morning go-to.

Greek yogurt

With its signature tart flavor, Greek yogurt promotes intestinal health and may even have anticancer and weight-loss effects. Avoid the sugar over-load of flavored yogurts by just adding a little honey yourself. Try this: Have family taco night, but make it light! Instead of piling on nutrient-empty shredded lettuce and fatty sour cream, substitute spinach or kale and Greek yogurt. Your family won’t even notice that the sour cream is missing.

Garbanzo beans

Consider substituting beans for meat in one meal a week. You’ll still get a great dose of protein, but you’ll save a bundle. Also called chick peas, garbanzo beans are rich in fiber and iron, and may help reduce cholesterol levels. Stock up on a few cans so you’ll always have some available.Try this: Garbanzo beans will give substance to a soup. Try this Moroccan Coconut & Chick Pea Soup, which combines the protein-rich bean with other inexpensive grocery store finds like canned diced tomatoes, granny smith apples, and sweet potatoes.

Brown rice

Choose brown rice over white for its multitude of health benefits. While white rice has only 0.6 grams of fiber per cup, brown rice boasts 4 grams. White rice is created by removing some of the nutrient-rich outer layers of a grain of rice. Although some white rice is enriched with nutrients, brown rice remains the healthier choice. Try this: Use it as a healthier side dish option instead of buttery mashed potatoes. Or make some veggie kebabs on the grill and top the rice with the grilled veggies. The nuttier flavor of brown rice will kick your regular side dish up a notch. Whatever you do, add minimal salt and butter to the rice while it’s cooking.

Stress reduction article - this and that

http://www.realage.com/the-you-docs/you-staying-young/stress-management?src=edit&chan=tip&con=tip&click=p5b3

when you want something to "not happen"

Triple welcoming..

The mind doesn't translate "never" - so when you are trying to have something not happen again... you could be telling your mind to have it happen again..."

Welcome the thing you don't want. Welcome how personal it may feel. Welcome that which has no history, that needs no protection...



So...  welcome the new state of being, rather than "not having" an old one.

don't try to forgive

"Nothing wrong with forgiveness... it's a natural outcome of letting go, and is independent of what another person does."

a let go

"Could you let go of wanting to be hurt by others? and could you let go of wanting to hurt others?"

"For a moment, can you welcome that that never has hurt anything, which allows for that whole dance, but is completely uninvolved?"

get clear on goals and some sedona releasing.

Kathy and Teppei,

The best way to get clear on your goals is to ask the question: What is my hearts deepest desire about __________? Then write down whatever comes up and keep releasing on each answer. Many will simply drop away as you release. The others will get quieter and clearer. The ones that stay and gain clarity are your true goals.
Love,
Hale

Trying - what is my heart's deepest desire about healing relationships in which I have been needy?

To be loved. (Shame). Is that feeling from wanting approval, control, security, separation/oneness? (Approval, oneness, security). Pick 1. (Security). Can you let go of wanting to be safe, even a little? Wanting is not the same as being safe. (Yes.) Can you let go a bit more? (Yes.) Can you let go the rest of the way? (Yes.)

Another wave of shame. (Approval.) Can you let go of the wanting of approval? A bit. (Yes.) Would you? (Yes.) When? (Now.)

Wave of sadness associated with shame about wanting to be loved. (Approval, separation AND oneness). Pick 1. Separation. Can you let go of wanting to be separate, since it doesn't give you what you want (to be loved) anyway? (Yes). More? Yes.

Can you explain this using the blah exercise?

Sure. Blah Blah Blah Blah-blah blah blah. Blah blah blahblahblah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blahber. Blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blahblahblah blah blabbing. Ahhhh.

I forgot what I was doing. I think it worked!

3 Ps

"If you want to change your explanatory style, start by evaluating where you fall on the spectrum from pessimism to optimism. Researchers do this by analyzing the way people use the "three Ps" (personal, permanent, and pervasive elements) in their descriptions of past events."   Beck. 


http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Martha-Beck-How-to-Think-Your-Way-Free/

The learned optimism model begins with the Ellis' ABC model of adversity, belief, and consequence. Adversity is the event that happens, belief is how that adversity is interpreted, and consequences are the feelings and actions that result from the beliefs. This is demonstrated in the example below:

• Adversity: Someone cuts you off in traffic.
• Belief: You think, “I can’t believe that idiot was so rude and selfish!”
• Consequence: You are overcome with anger, yelling profanity at the other driver.

In the journey to learning optimism, one must first understand one's natural reaction to and interpretation of adversity. In order to do so, learners are asked to keep a journal, for two days, of small adverse events and the beliefs and consequences that followed.

Next the learner simply returns to the journal to highlight pessimism (e.g. pervasiveness: "it doomed me...") in their written descriptions of the events.

Seligman adds to the ABC model, making his model ABCDE. D stands for disputation, which centers around providing counter-evidence to any of the following: the negative beliefs in general, the causes of the event, or the implications.

D also means reminding oneself of any potential usefulness of moving on from the adversity. Disputation for the above traffic example might sound like this: “I am overreacting. I don’t know what situation he is in. Maybe he is on his way to his daughter’s piano recital and is running late. I’m sure I have cut people off before without meaning to, so I should really cut him a break. I am not in a hurry anyway.”

Over time, responses like this can change feelings to be more hopeful and positive.