job: create moments of joy

  ... for more control over your emotional brain so you can take charge of your emotions more easily.

The method is based on sensing which of the five universal emotional brain states you are functioning in at any particular time and using a tool to either maintain your current brain state or move yourself into a better one. The brain states range from Brain State 1, feeling joyful and content, to Brain State 5, feeling overwhelmed, confused, lost and hungry! In Brain State 1, you are in spirit, and in Brain State 5, you're in survival mode—all about ego. You'll do whatever it takes to get what you want when you want it—without regard to others. The tools give you the power to switch your brain back to Brain State 1—regardless of your current circumstances—as easily and quickly as possible.

Each time you use these tools, you weaken the wires that promote stress and strengthen those that bring joy. The goal is to rewire your brain from stress to joy, to take your emotional life into your own hands! Once you master this, you can become your own beacon of light, with your joy finding its way into the wiring not only of people you know, but also those you don't know. It will even affect the brains of those who have yet to be born.

So when I get up in the morning, I remind myself that my job is to create more moments of joy in my day, and you should too! Make it your goal to lighten your emotional footprint on the planet and spread joy. Help others get to Brain State 1, and you can begin to create a world at 1.

Laurel Mellin  Wired for Joy.

storying (from Hootless)

Mutuality - any communication of a story must be balanced. So, if the listener is happy for the teller to tell the story then that is ok. If the listener is not happy to listen then the teller must understand that and maybe not continue as long.

If there is 'Space Created' to tell the story (provided by a listener) it can lead to more emotions coming up to release on.

'Discriminate' – If the story is harming you, you dislike it or, it is draining your energy in any way (or feels that way). Get out of the situation if necessary or release on it of course. If it is positive then let it continue and keep listening if comfortable with it.

Look at the 'Underlying Wants' if you want to exit a situation, or stay and welcome whatever comes up etc etc

Be 'Authentic' and 'Speak Your Own Truth'- If a story is becoming uncomfortable then be honest and say this. Don't say you are cool to listen for hours if you don't want to. Remember mutuality!

If someone in your life is venting and telling the same story continually on more than one occasion and thus stuck there ... and the feeling is not one of mutuality ... and/or draining you -  then limit the time you will listen, tell them you cannot listen for hours, but if they would like some help to release the story, you will assist.  If they do not want assistance and just to tell the story then [you can] leave the conversation or communication.

21 days of paying attention

I am working on releasing my fear of being who I am and also on being more present with others. This is an "integrity penny game" opportunity.

six seconds

These three exercises from Six Seconds, a California-based international nonprofit organization that offers training in emotional and social intelligence, are designed to develop a core of competence—and an earned sense of confidence.

Feelings Quilt:One of the keys to making good decisions is developing emotional literacy—that is, tuning in to your own reactions and noticing that you may have many feelings at once. Take a small piece of paper, fold it twice (you'll make four squares), and unfold it. Think of a big moment that happened yesterday. In one of the squares, enter a symbol or design showing how you felt. What else did you feel? Write it in another square. Repeat for the last two squares. Now that you can see the range of emotions you had, which one got the most attention? Was it the most useful one to focus on? Did you ignore some of them?

Integrity Pennies:Learning to manage your reactions more carefully is crucial to self-mastery. First thing in the morning, put 10 pennies in your left pocket. Each time you say or do something other than what you genuinely intended (maybe you softened a response too much or were harsher than you meant to be), transfer one penny to your right pocket. Keep practicing to reduce the number of right-pocket pennies.

The Silent-Movie Game:This exercise helps you use the power of your feelings for the greater good. With a friend at lunch, on the bus, or in an airport, pick a few people and guess what's going on inside their minds. Then compare notes on what you glean the subjects are thinking, feeling, and doing, and what each most needs now from a supportive ally or friend.

 http://www.6seconds.org/tools/resources/ resources!

reminder - when the thoughts thunder loud and scary

All war belongs on paper - here's how to go to battle: You write down each and every stressful thought, and then ask yourself four questions about it.

Is it true?

  (don't know for usre, sure feels that way)

Can I absolutely know it's true?
   (not at present, maybe never)
How do I react when I believe this thought?

  (pain and anger and resentment and fear. eww.)


Who would I be without the thought?
   (fun, creative, joyful)

Afterward, when you have completely wrestled the thought to the ground, you replace it with a "turnaround"—an opposite thought, one that is "as true or truer" and that doesn't cause you suffering.

(As true - that I am already lovable as I am, and that the love I seek is inside)

(Byron Katie)

what I do for love... (Queens)

What I Do For Love

•  I can't remember!
• Pet my horse.
• Please. (as if)
• Nap.
• Listen to music.
• Dance.
• Write.