Coaching note for the day

(Re)learned from the assignments - I have a huge amount of resentment stuffed down there. There's shame and embarrassment too. My ex bf  used to say “Shit on shame.” I find that ironically shaming. I want and need someone on my side. I'm always afraid of falling short of being good enough to be loved.

My raison d 'etre is to love, be loved, and operate from a loving heart.  That is good enough.

Coaching discussion

Assignments - blurt pages

Write an angry letter of response to the person who criticized me for being needy (when I wanted love)

Write about early fear of abdominal surgery (which also has abandonment mixed in there)

Beginner breathwork - inhale postive intentions (nose), expanding belly; out (mouth) letting go. - (start by lying down, hands on abdomen, elbows supported if need be). Asked for this as it's a missing piece.

Also: Singing scales in the car.

Chant

Progresses

On July 3 I got the strength and the awareness and such to realize that though I was gaining a lot from contact with a friend, there continue to be deeply distructive elements to that contact - an addictive quality on my part, and a extremely judgmental quality on his. I love, bless, and release him from my life as it now is. It was three days of detoxing hell - and now it feels good. Doing the "independence" exercise: What do I love about my body/mind/soul; what might I apologize to it/them for?

welcome goals

2009 recording Sedona Method, very end of track 9... welcome the goal - triple welcoming process. Useful

heartmath exercise

heart focus, heart breathing, pleasant place or image or memory.

I'm free - I'm free.

We have the right to question each and every thought – to turn the tables and become the exclusive commodity that our thoughts want to hang around!

WE are the one who is in demand. WE are the one our thoughts keep hanging around. We have limited capacity for thoughts, and only want the cream of the crop.

Therefore, each thought must go through an extensive screening process, much like a job interview. “What can you add to my life?” “What have you come to teach me?” “Are you here to uplift me or drag me down?” “Are you telling me the truth?”

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/2011/03/10-things-my-mentor-taught-me-right-to-question-my-thoughts/#comment-329

excerpt and exercises -Talking to the body - thank you, apology

Remember your body is your home, not just an object. It needs you to be its advocate, its protector and its caregiver.Do that, and it will do the same for you, as best it can.

Talk to your body, literally. I know it sounds silly, but it helps. Ask it what it needs, what messages it has at the moment.

Consider a “thank you” for all your body has been through. Consider an apology for not being able to listen before. We take far better care of something for which we feel empathy, so we need to listen to our body messages. Are you hungry? Tired? Full? Emotions are physical; learn where your body feels them.
Your intuition is physical; think about how you feel when you know you are in a dangerous situation. Your body tells you first. long before your thoughts.

Thank you body and heart and soul for getting me through all this alive. You are tough and persevering when ... it seems that there's no reason to be.


Body, heart and soul, I am sorry for trying to jam you into dangerous places with dangerous people even after the red flags are waving and the writing on the wall is dripping in blood...  I know you eat because you're scared and you hang out with and love the wrong people because you are so afraid you can't be loved and that your love is worthless.  In a bit, it will feel better. Step away from the confusion and the people who can't love you. There is peace there.

One thing I like to do is think about the times you were really enjoying being “in” your body, with no judgment about how it looked. Might be dancing, running, curling up on the couch, anything.Do that, and see the difference between being “in” and looking “at.” Try to shift to more being “in” your body. Find time in some small way (or a big way!) as often as you can.

For some, their bodies were the site of violence, damage, or other boundary violations.

Most people absorb these traumas, and believe these experiences change the worth and value of their body itself. This is understandable, but absolutely wrong.

A body that has seen us through trauma is even more in need of our protection.(Excerpt from

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2011/07/powerful-ways-to-improve-your-body-image/ )