These three exercises from Six Seconds, a California-based international nonprofit organization that offers training in emotional and social intelligence, are designed to develop a core of competence—and an earned sense of confidence.
Feelings Quilt:One of the keys to making good decisions is developing emotional literacy—that is, tuning in to your own reactions and noticing that you may have many feelings at once. Take a small piece of paper, fold it twice (you'll make four squares), and unfold it. Think of a big moment that happened yesterday. In one of the squares, enter a symbol or design showing how you felt. What else did you feel? Write it in another square. Repeat for the last two squares. Now that you can see the range of emotions you had, which one got the most attention? Was it the most useful one to focus on? Did you ignore some of them?
Integrity Pennies:Learning to manage your reactions more carefully is crucial to self-mastery. First thing in the morning, put 10 pennies in your left pocket. Each time you say or do something other than what you genuinely intended (maybe you softened a response too much or were harsher than you meant to be), transfer one penny to your right pocket. Keep practicing to reduce the number of right-pocket pennies.
The Silent-Movie Game:This exercise helps you use the power of your feelings for the greater good. With a friend at lunch, on the bus, or in an airport, pick a few people and guess what's going on inside their minds. Then compare notes on what you glean the subjects are thinking, feeling, and doing, and what each most needs now from a supportive ally or friend.
http://www.6seconds.org/tools/resources/ resources!
Friday, November 11, 2011
reminder - when the thoughts thunder loud and scary
All war belongs on paper - here's how to go to battle: You write down each and every stressful thought, and then ask yourself four questions about it.
Is it true?
(don't know for usre, sure feels that way)
Can I absolutely know it's true?
(not at present, maybe never)
How do I react when I believe this thought?
(pain and anger and resentment and fear. eww.)
Who would I be without the thought?
(fun, creative, joyful)
Afterward, when you have completely wrestled the thought to the ground, you replace it with a "turnaround"—an opposite thought, one that is "as true or truer" and that doesn't cause you suffering.
Is it true?
(don't know for usre, sure feels that way)
Can I absolutely know it's true?
(not at present, maybe never)
How do I react when I believe this thought?
(pain and anger and resentment and fear. eww.)
Who would I be without the thought?
(fun, creative, joyful)
Afterward, when you have completely wrestled the thought to the ground, you replace it with a "turnaround"—an opposite thought, one that is "as true or truer" and that doesn't cause you suffering.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
what I do for love... (Queens)
What I Do For Love
- I can't remember!
- Pet my horse.
- Please. (as if)
- Nap.
- Listen to music.
- Dance.
- Write.
Friday, October 28, 2011
depression rag
Some waysto set up some depression help is to give yourself small tasks to accomplish.
Provide realistic goals that you can easily do.
Talk things over with a family member or friend that you can trust to give unbiased advice and encouragement.
Engage in some normal activities like going to the movies, seeing a sports game or even participate in social activities that you feel comfortable with.
You need to understand that it takes time for the depression treatment to work.
Ask for help and encouragement to stick with the efforts you have begun from family and friends.
Depression help also means seeing that medication is taken when it should be and also in the right amount.
Find a way to talk about things that are worrying you.
Provide realistic goals that you can easily do.
Talk things over with a family member or friend that you can trust to give unbiased advice and encouragement.
Engage in some normal activities like going to the movies, seeing a sports game or even participate in social activities that you feel comfortable with.
You need to understand that it takes time for the depression treatment to work.
Ask for help and encouragement to stick with the efforts you have begun from family and friends.
Depression help also means seeing that medication is taken when it should be and also in the right amount.
Find a way to talk about things that are worrying you.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
scared of scarcity? wallow
The way to get around [anxiety about lack]... is to increase our awareness of abundance. If you embark ... in a mind-set emphasizing lack, you'll create a scarcity response.... The best way to [deal with] this is to dive into an overcrowded area [of your life] and wallow for a while. (Beck)
Monday, October 24, 2011
If it comes up again...
About thoughts - "If is comes up again, so what? It's just a thought... it belongs to you as much as the (perception) of that tree out there." Sedona Living Love Class (2010, recording 10)
Thumbprint
Each of us is born with a propensity to have fun doing certain types of activities, in certain proportions—you may love doing something I hate and vice versa. I call the pattern of activities you most enjoy your "funprint," and like your thumbprint it's unique. It seems obvious to me (and research backs me up) that we are most productive, persistent, creative, and flexible when we're engaged in precisely the combination of activities that brings us maximum fun. Your funprint isn't a frivolous indulgence. It is the map of your true life, an instruction manual for your essential purpose, written in the language of joy. Learning to read and respond to it is one of the most crucial things you'll ever do.
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